Here is a link to the final draft of the script. It still needs to be ran through a few people but in regards to the scriptwriting team, it is looking pretty well done. Again we would appreciate any constructive comments. Thank You.
~Scriptwriting Team
22/04/2009 at 10:46 am Permalink
I think you have to opportunity to do a great job with the re-telling of the Prodigal Son that you have here. However, there were a few things that stuck out to me as I read the script:
1) The courtroom scene was very stiff and unrealistic. If it were simply a matter of Luke showing the proper paperwork, then it probably wouldn’t even have made it to a judge. I think it needs a little work before it rings true to life.
2) Daniel goes from drunk-out-of-his-mind to competent safe cracker? Perhaps his inebriation can be portrayed as he fumbles with the numbers, even though he’s reading them off of a crumpled piece of paper.
3) Luke’s sudden possession of a gun seems too sudden. There was no warning or foreshadowing for the audience. A pan to a gun case as Luke cradles his father’s body after the robbery, or highlighting a strange bulge in Luke’s clothes where he carries the weapon–something like that.
4) I didn’t understand the connection between the story and the Bible verse at the end. The father suddenly represents Christ? I think that the conclusion you’re attempting to draw from the story isn’t strong enough for the audience to grasp–there would need to be explanation, and I think films are better if the audience can be drawn into the conclusion or the “message” without explicit explanation.
On the whole, I think it was well done. You guys have a lot of potential, and I look forward to the finished result.
23/06/2009 at 11:52 am Permalink
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